Hey, fellow Leader đ,
I am Artur, and welcome to my weekly newsletter. I am focusing on topics like Project Management, Innovation, Leadership, and a bit of Entrepreneurship. I am always open to suggestions for new topics. Feel free to reach out to me and share my newsletter if it helps you in any way.
In a previous article, I stated how normal it is to become friends with our colleagues. We spend countless hours together, overcoming a series of challenges, and itâs simply natural that some bonds are created. However, some of those bonds are artificial and merely in place for the sake of work and potential future gains. I donât judge how people see each other in relation to work. However, I strongly disagree with the mentality of hostility that can arise when a colleague leaves the company.
How many of us have seen a dear colleague leave the company only to be ostracized once they're gone? We all have seen dear colleagues who helped and contributed to the company for years, but after their resignation letter was delivered, that person was suddenly seen as a traitor.
There are multiple variables where we could provide the benefit of the doubt: How did the person resign? How was the handover done? Or other reasons to have a bitter exit. But I have witnessed so many cases of colleagues leaving the company, and other people refusing the idea of inviting former colleagues to a simple after-work drink. Why?
In career coaching, we always say to leave the door open and manage the exit gracefully because we need to keep our options open in the future. Life takes all kinds of turns, and the person might even rejoin the company later. In contrast, some colleagues have a primal reaction when confronted with the idea of sharing time with an old colleague. In this article, I will break down some of the cases where a leaver becomes a Persona Non Grata.
From âThe Bestâ To Sh**
When I first started to work, I was a developer at a very small software house, and we were building software for small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) in HR and education. Microsoft had launched a new programming language not so long ago (C# .NET), and the company hired a C# senior developer. He'd been working on C# since its inception, which at the time was less than five years. We worked together for almost a year, and the feedback from everyone (including the boss) was that the guy was very skilled. As time passed, this highly skilled developer wanted bigger challenges, and a small software house wasn't the best look on his CV, so he eventually left the company.
Granted, I donât know the details about his departure, and I donât even remember the notice period he gave. (In Europe, itâs common to give 30 daysâ notice or more before leaving a company, depending on some contract technicalities). What I do remember is that the company owners highly criticized the guy behind his back, using very offensive language that I cannot share here.
My 20-something-year-old self was shocked by this kind of treatment. He was a cool guy with good communication skills, and from my perspective, the handover was done nicely. A few months later, another developer left the company, and the pattern remained. Well, I left the company, and I guess the <insert offensive language here> was eventually me.
It was deep in that company's culture that every leaver was a traitor. This was a culturally ingrained mindset that was probably designed to prevent other people from leaving. But this method is so ridiculously dysfunctional. It triggered my own desire to move on. It creates an unhealthy work environment, and new joiners will quickly realize they will be next once they leave the company. This triggers the survival instinct of giving the lowest notice period possible to avoid a very hostile atmosphere.
After-work Censorship
So Caroline (fictional name) decided to leave the company, and because as a team we spend hours, days, and months together, friendships are born. This honest bond was a dramatic event for some colleagues who only see work connections as benefiting their own careers. Of course, Caroline was always with us for after-work beers, dinners, and other off-work stuff that happened through the years. Naturally, when she left, we kept calling her for drinks. An example of ridiculous feedback we received, was from a very prominent figure in management. He stated that we should stop inviting Caroline because the after-work is only for work colleagues.
Firstly, on my own time, I invite whoever I want. However, this reflects that some people only go to after-work events for self-benefit. This mentality of turning your back on someone is ridiculously small-minded. Having contact with people from other companies and with different realities only enlarges our perspective. It helps us understand how some problems could be solved using different angles and how some tools are utilized. Itâs called networking, with the difference that we already have an established rapport, instead of trying to build one with a random person we've never met before.
Personal bonds are created, and every time I hear someone try to censor any type of connection with a leaver, itâs a sign that the censor has a limited learning range.
The Avoidance of The Greener Grass On The Other Side
In the end, this âPersona Non Grataâ paradox is built upon the fear of seeing colleagues leave the company for greener pastures and trigger more turnover. When a new player arrives in the market and starts recruiting key people across different companies, it ignites an unofficial race to have better compensation or benefits by the new star in town. It also exposes the cracks in a given company and shows how some of those cracks have been mismanaged for years.
The truth is, there's no perfect company nor a perfect work environment. Everything has its pros and cons. More often than not, the choice to leave a company comes down to an individual's motivations after some time in the role. There are some good aspects to having a degree of turnover in a company, as it brings new perspectives while refreshing and challenging existing company practices. Unless a company is battling a huge turnover problem, a small degree of turnover is healthy and creates opportunities.
No matter the context, the grass might not be greener on the other side, nor does it need to be. Sometimes it is simply a personal decision, and people are adults to make those decisions. Our workplace might also be the greener side for somebody else.
Thatâs it. If you find this post useful, please share it with your friends or colleagues who might be interested in this topic. If you would like to see a different angle, suggest it in the comments or send me a message.
Cheers,
Artur